2 hours feels like forever...

We jumped out of bed from the beeping of the alarm Monday morning at 3:30am. We set the alarm so we could give London his last bit of liquid (water) before his surgery. We were panicked because we slept through the 11:30pm alarm and London didn't get to have his last bit of formula. Even though we knew he was starving already London was laughing and smiling adorably even at 4am. We packed up what we needed and were out the door by 4:45. We made it to the hospital in no time and checked in about 5:30am. We were greeted by a very sweet nurse named Ashley who kept me calm and empathized with how hard this kind of stuff is for parents. London was awake and pretty content at this point. This actually continued throughout the entire pre-op waiting period. Kary and I were super nervous but London was just adorably smiling and playing with toys in his precious little hospital gown. He was letting most of the nurses hold him and was quite the attraction.
When it was time for London's surgery a nurse asked to see him "for a minute" I thought she was just going to check his temp or something and the next thing I knew she was wrapping him in a blanket and carrying him away. He started crying and turned back and reached his arm out for me...I reached my arm back toward him and then turned to Kary and burst into tears...that was the hardest part, letting go, putting my baby's care in the hands of people I barely knew.
Kary and I went back to the waiting room. We were given a tracking number for London so we would know where he was. There was a screen with the numbers posted and there he was...number 15457...my baby was now a number and it instantly lit up blue which meant he was officially in the Operating Room. I ate some "breakfast on the go", played a family guy: what's different game on my phone and kept glancing at the hospital screen every 3 seconds. I knew he'd be in there about an hour but I couldn't help but glue my eyes to that screen. Kary kept me calm and even managed to make me smile joking about how London's urologist responded to our "good morning" with a whole bunch of penis talk and finger motions. Kary kept saying that's how he says good morning to everyone, shaking his pointer finger and saying penis penis penis...haha. I did catch a glimpse of tears in Kary's eyes but he knew he had to stay strong or I'd lose it.
At about an hour and a half into the surgery I was obsessively glancing at the hospital screen, I wanted that number to turn purple so I knew he was ok. We both started to worry as time ticked by and it was now 2 hours after he was admitted. A nurse came by a few minutes later and said, "He's still in surgery but all is well." We breathed a sigh of relief but I was getting really impatient.
At 2 hours and 19 minutes London's number turned purple. I jumped up and yelled, "Yes, he's out!" The people in the waiting room looked but just smiled at me. A nurse came to get me minutes later (only one parent was allowed in first recovery room) and I grabbed the diaper bag and rushed behind her.
As the big doors slid open into the recovery room I could hear the sweet cry of my baby boy. I recognized his cry right away but I could hear pain in his cry. There was a sweet man nurse rocking him and he instantly jumped up and yelled, "Mommy's here!" The nurse informed me that London guzzled down 2 bottles of pedialyte and needed formula~stat! I made him a bottle and grabbed my sweet London. I rocked him in the rocking chair and spoke to him assuring that mommy was here and everything was ok. His throat was really scratchy from the breathing tube and he only drank about an ounce of formula. His eyes were still closed but he held onto my finger tightly and pulled me close smelling my hair. I started to sing to him and said some silly stuff that usually makes him laugh. He just looked into my eyes and didn't crack a smile...that made me sad. I felt so guilty for putting my baby through all this, I hated seeing him hooked up to all those monitors, and just wanted the pain to go away.
Dr. Perez came to talk to me as I was rocking London and the first thing he told me was that London would need another surgery because he could not finish the procedure due to something with his urethra. My heart sank...ugh...just when I thought I could take a sigh of relief I realized we have to go through all of this again.
After being monitored for about 30 minutes we were ready to move into the next recovery room and London could see his daddy. By this time he was passed out and sleeping comfortably. Kary was super happy to see him but I know it hurt him seeing him look so pitiful. A few nurses came by to comment on his cuteness and one asked if she could please take him home.
We were given our final home-care directions, got London dressed (well sort of) and finally were discharged.
The first day and night were pretty rough. London threw up his pain meds and would wake up occasionally with a hoarse painful cry. We couldn't really cuddle him because if his peep was pressed up against anything it would hurt. London spent the first few days high on codine and "yo gabba gabba" is pretty trippy already I can't imagine how it was all hopped up on pain killers.
London had to wear 2 diapers for 3 days. We had to poke a hole in one, pull the catheter through that one and then put a larger size over top of that one. Our poor baby had a giant crotch.
I took London for his post-op appointment today and Dr. Perez removed the catheter. London was so tough. He barely cried and just squeezed my hand.
His privates are a wreck. It's hard to picture exactly what it looks like now. He will definitely need another surgery and as of right now, my baby pees out of his ball sac (well right above it) that will be fixed later...who else can say that?...hahah... For now, we're just happy he's home safe and we can enjoy our happy adorable baby.

tomorrow I get a new "peep"!

I'll never forget that feeling when I heard the nurse say, "I need to talk to you..." It was just seconds after London was born. The nurse told Kary that our baby had testicles but that there was something not right about his penis. Not only was it a blow to find out we didn't have a girl but to know that something was wrong with our new perfect little baby was scary.
They called in the urologist (Dr. Perez) to speak with us within an hour after London's birth. He assured us that everything was ok with our baby and he had a fairly common genital birth defect called Hypospadias. He assured us that it could be corrected with a pretty common procedure. He gave us his card, told us to call him in 3 months for a consult, and the surgery could be scheduled at 6 months, and told us London would be perfectly fine.
This was a relief but it was still upsetting to know that our little baby son would have to go through a surgery before even being a year. It has been hanging over our heads for the past 6 months and tomorrow is the big day...the day we can't wait to get over with.
Some people may think this is a bit too "private" (no pun intended) to share and some friends/family have even suggested we never tell him about it. But, Kary and I are an open book and we hope London will be open-minded enough to not be ashamed that he wasn't born perfect (damn-near close with those looks though) It is part of his journey, part of him...nothing to be ashamed of.
Things could be much worse and we are very grateful that is it just an external procedure that is in and out in the hospital. But we're still pretty nervous about it. I spoke with the RN on Friday and started the paperwork. She explained to me that London cannot eat 6 hours prior to surgery and that he will be given some juice containing baby tylenol and a sedative and that he'll be too groggy to stress out about being taken away from mommy and daddy to the operating room. I'm sure he'll be brave but it's me I am worried about. I have always been an emotional person but I am SUPER emotional about anything involving London. He is my everything.
So, tomorrow London will receive a whole new "peep." (just in time for Easter)...haha. Dr. Perez will unattach his penis from his scrotum, reroute his urethra and circumcise him. I am actually going to miss his cute little "nub." haha...But I am sure he would not think it was very cute when he is a teenager. We probably won't sleep much tonight but luckily London is too young to have any clue what is going to happen. But that doesn't mean he won't feel the pain or that it will be easy. Wish us all luck and keep our little guy in your thoughts...I'm sure I'll be a mess and London will surprise me with amazing strength and will probably wake up from anethstesia with a smile :-)

independent "big boy"!

London has been spending a lot of time with other kids the past few weeks. It is so strange to see him as a "kid" lately. I love going to pick him up from the babysitter's and see him sitting in a big boy highchair interacting with the other kids. His big giant smile when he first sees me is the best part of my day. He is becoming more and more like a little person each day. He's headstrong, funny, spazztic, bossy, lovable, cuddly, hungry, cranky, crazy, demanding and hilarious! Sometimes he is all the above~at the same time. He is such a good baby though. He's usually up for pretty much anything and the only time he really has a meltdown is when he is really tired or hungry. He also gets upset when he's bored. If he does not have a toy to play with he'll tell us about it. He loves Brooklyn and Brixton and now screams high-pitched every time he sees them. Sometimes he gets so super excited he starts biting, scratching and pulling hair.
London is obsessed with tags, books, and cords! It's like he knows what is dangerous and goes after it. He tries to bite the computer cord and gets super mad when we don't let him near it. He also loves balloons but wants to eat them. We are noticing that we have to keep a very close eye on him because he's fast and his favorite thing to do is throw, fling, and smack items...the more breakable the better.
London boycotts naps and bedtime. He'll do anything he can to avoid sleeping, even of it means he's miserable. He doesn't want to miss anything. He's very busy! haha
London loves oatmeal and veggies and is even starting to warm up to fruit. He sits in his highchair and we sing, "there's a party in my tummy!" and cheer when he takes a bite. He loooves the attention at mealtime.
I'm trying to grab onto and cherish every minute. He is growing so fast. In just a few short months he is a whole new little being...I can't imagine what he'll be doing in the next few months. He's amazing...the best baby I could ask for :-)

D-band: Take 2!

London had his second doc band fitting on Thursday. Unfortunately, I didn't get to go this time because I was at a teacher workshop :-( Kary took him and was sweet enough to send me picture updates every few hours. London, once again, does not even notice it is there. He gets a little fussy when we first put it on but other than that he's cool. In the morning we are still seeing swollen eyes and some red spots from the helmet pressing against his forehead as he sleeps. These symptoms should go away over the next few days but I am keeping a close eye on him, checking his skin every few hours.
I love how he can fall and be protected by the helmet. People are also super nice to us in public. I think they may think he has something wrong with him, but that doesn't bother me in the least. I'd love him just the same if he did! Plus, isn't there something "wrong" with all of us?! haha. Anyways, I am happy with it so far and he looks SO super cute in it. We are in the process of decorating this one. We ordered more tattoos this week and hoping to get them soon. He'll have weekly adjustments as his head grows and we can already see a huge difference. When I kissed him on his forehead last night while reading our bedtime story, it felt weird that his little forehead is puffier than it was. It was a bit sloped before and is rounding out so quickly. We'll see how he adjusts.

Below are the pics daddy sent me from their day at Cranial Tech.

Nana and Papa!

My parents came to visit for the weekend and it had been 3 months (christmas) since they have seen little London. I could not wait for them to see all the new things he is doing. The last time they saw him he was barely smiling and now he's laughing sitting up and is a crazy little (big) baby! My mom grabbed him instantly when she walked in the door and he clung right to her. There were even a few times that he dove out of my arms to grab his "nana". He must have sensed her somehow since he may have not remembered her from back when he was a blob.
Friday night we ordered pizza and relaxed. London and my mom danced together and we had a nice night talking.

On saturday we went to the wine vault and had a great time drinking wine outside and being our usual crazy selves. There were tons of dogs there and one lady would not stop pinching London's cheeks and kept trying to get her pug to pay attention to him. We spent that night cooking out at Risa and Brent's. London was exhausted and cranky and barely napped. My dad got him to sleep by pushing him in his stroller in circles around the pool and singing Irish ballads. It was so cute!
On Sunday we took a trip to ikea and my dad babysat London. Even though he "doesn't do diapers" he did an awesome job taking care of London. They chilled together outside.
Later on Sunday we went to Jetton Park and walked the trails. London also got to feel sand for the first time. He liked it. We then went to Loco Lime for dinner and my parents got me a cake for an early birthday.

We had such a great weekend but my parents wear me out! Somehow 50-somethings seem to have more energy than me...and my dad was even walking with a cane! That's when I realized that mommy-hood and lack of sleep have really taken a toll on me. It's also due to the insane allergies here and my lack of oxygen with all these asthma triggers. I have felt so exhausted and worn out. I am hoping summer will bring better health. I did officially quit nursing and back on meds which are helping a little.


We will be back in PA May 7th and my parents are going to come to Pittsburgh to meet up...I guess they just can't get enough of our amazing little guy...and probably wanna see us a little too ;-)

Halfway to My Birthday!

London turned 6 months today! It is hard to believe I had him a half of a year ago! This is definitely my favorite age. He is so adorable and fun! He has a hilarious personality. He is always laughing, babbling, and grabbing everything in sight. He even put his spoon in his mouth tonight when it was on his highchair tray..smart baby:-)He hugs me all the time and gets so excited when I come home from work. It is amazing.
He had his 6 month check-up today. He now weighs 18lbs 9oz and is 27in long. He is in the 75th percentile. He is now moving onto stage 2 baby food and can eat it 3 times a day. We hope this will help him sleep longer so he's not up every 2-3 hours. That is really tiring out Kary and I. London got 3 shots today by "Shelby the shot lady." He did better than he has but still cried :-( I love love love our pediatrician. She sat with me and answered all my questions. She is funny, sweet, and tells me how it is. I can really tell she loves my little man.
This month is very busy for little London. He gets his second and hopefully final d-band on Thursday and has his surgery (hypospadias) on April 18th. The pediatrician said that next time she sees him he'll have a whole new head shape and penis...haha. London also had a great visit from his nana and papa Chesley (post coming soon)
Healthy baby....happy mama....I seriously am obsessed with this chunky kid!