Dear London.....

I am writing this post about 30 minutes before I actually started to go into labor 1 year ago.....

Dear London,
It is incredibly hard for me to put into words what I want to tell you. I could have never imagined a year ago that we'd be here today. A year ago I had no idea I had a little boy squished into my belly kicking me and nuzzling my ribs. I am sorry I called you "she" and "her" for so long and I'm sorry I didn't know you were a boy all along :-( I do feel guilty that we missed that time as mommy and son and I feel guilty that you never really got the baby showers that were meant for you. But all that doesn't really matter. I could have never imagined a more perfect, adorable, sweet, funny, silly, amazing little baby. You give me a reason to wake up each day. You can calm me down and put life into perspective with one tiny smirk. I love how you play with my hair, how you scrunch up your nose when you try a new food, the way you think it's perfectly acceptable to kiss mommy with an open mouth, and how you have made us a family. You always seem to understand when I need a hug, or a laugh, and we have an unbreakable connection that no one would really understand. I love you so incredibly much and I am so excited to watch you grow, explore, and become the little man that you are going to be. I will be here to teach you, love you, dance with you, and be your biggest fan as you travel through life. I am so proud to call you my son and I love you more than I could ever put into words. You are my biggest joy. One year ago I could not have imagined the love I could feel for a child, I know that feeling now and it's the best feeling in the world. I love you London James.

Love,
Mommy

London's 1st Birthday Party!!!

Well London is not officially 1 until tomorrow but we celebrated a few days early this saturday. My parents came from PA along with Andrea. My aunt Marg and cousin Miriah also made the trip. Jess had to stay in PA because she's 8 months pregnant and Josh and Sarah had to stay because Sarah could not miss class. We missed them all but managed to pull off a pretty fantastic 1st birthday party for our sweet baby London (soon to be toddler London...sob sob) We had the party at our house. We decided to just invite family and a few friends that were special to London. I invited my friend Loren and his wife Melissa. They were at the hospital the day after London was born and have taken an interest in our chunky little guy. I, of course, invited my best friend since 15 Lynn and was so happy her husband Justin and baby Dex came too! We had both sets of grandparents, friends, family, and of course, lots of noise and food. I wanted it to be only vegetarian food, but with my lack of how to entertain (well in the food area) I was overtaken...haha. We ordered the cake from one of Kary's clients that own a bakery. It was awesome! It was vegan and of course we heard some complaints about that...haha...but I like it and London is not much of a sweet eater so he didn't really care anyways.
He was so cute when we sang happy birthday and looked adorable in his birthday-decked out highchair. He cried a few minutes into the song and seemed quite freaked out by all the attention.
He wasn't oo into opening his presents, he was more interested in the boxes and ribbons but enjoyed the toys after they were opened. He got awesome stuff....lots of clothes and educational toys! He is so pumped to have all the new stuff. I can't believe that tomorrow London is going to be 1 year old!!! This year has flown and I could not have imagined a year ago how amazing motherhood is...

While I Was Away....

Since I was without a computer I feel so guilty for not keeping up with my blog. Here are a few pictures taken over the past month. I have been in a whirlwind since school started back! Enjoy!

Getting Back to Normal!...well, our kind of normal ;-)

We are finally moved in! The last month has been insane. My computer crashed, I lost everything (cried enough about that) and without a computer I was spending very long hours at school. I have been having a very hard time keeping up with all the workload, moving, not having a computer, and being a mommy. Being a mommy is my priority but unfortunately my job has been taking over and it's making me crazy!
I am hoping things slow down soon so I can enjoy life and not be so damn stressed out and exhausted every day of my life. I hate that I am missing what's going on with London. By the time I get him after work I have already worked a 10 hour day and it's already time for dinner, a bath, and bed (for both of us) But now that I have my computer back and in the swing of things at work I am hoping to get London much earlier and finally get to spend some quality time with him! I miss him sooo much! I have cried a few times putting him to bed because I just want to be with him.
London is loving our new house and is an insanely fast crawler. He took a few steps a few weeks ago but is not consistently trying to walk. He would rather crawl like a fast little maniac. I don't mind, but am looking forward to being able to set him down and hold his hand. But for now I'll enjoy a baby on my hip.
London has his 12 month appointment with the pediatrician on Oct. 7th and his first birthday party is next Saturday! He's also scheduled for his second surgery in November. We've got a lot going on. My mom, dad, sister, aunt, and cousins are coming to town for his party so I'm pretty excited. I can't believe my little baby London is going to be 1!

I Miss Being a Mommy!!!

For 2 months I got to experience what it would be like to be a stay-at-home mom. I loved every minute but I know that being at home every day wouldn't make me completely happy. I really do enjoy being a teacher, I just wish there was a way to work part-time and I wish I wasn't so overworked, underpaid, and unappreciated. I think NC is the worst possible state to teach in. However, I have friends, a sister, and Kary's family here for support so we're staying put for now.
London turned 11 months today and in just the past week he has been doing so many new things. He started saying a few words. He says dog, cat, hi, dada, and all done. He says them randomly but they are pretty easy to understand. He also climbs up the stairs (fast!), puts blocks inside each other, stands on his own for a while and dances like a maniac anytime he hears music.
We are trying to figure out a childcare situation that doesn't have Kary's mom driving all over the place. I am currently looking for someone to watch him on Tuesdays and Kary may shift a few hours around to be home more on Mondays. We are moving in 2 weeks so things have been totally crazy. Our computer also completely crashed last weekend so that's made work much harder and I've been going in early. The new school hours are horrible and I can't believe I am working 5+ hours extra a week with no more pay.
London is doing great and I am missing a lot of it. I hate that I am not the first one he sees when he wakes up, I hate that I don't get to feed him breakfast and lunch. I hate that he misses me and looks for me and I m not there. I am hoping it gets easier. For now I am going to make the most of every second. I am so pumped to be in our new house!

Last Day of Summer Vacation :-(

I have been meaning to write this post for 11 days now but, of course, since work started I have been crazy busy and every extra second is spent with London.
August 15th was our last day together for the summer. It totally bums me out it's over but I have to keep reminding myself that most moms work all the time and never get this much time off with their baby.
We started our day off with a morning walk. He kept peaking his little head through the stroller cover window~so cute! He actually started crying on the way home because he was so sleepy.
We played all afternoon, I let him tackle me, we sang songs, danced, watched yo gabba gabba and I squeezed the crap out of him all day!
I managed to stay strong for the past week and a half and finally last night it hit me how much I miss London.
Things I will miss...
waking up to his smiley face every morning
breakfast booty dancing to pandora
cuddling and watching nick jr.
being able to just go anywhere, anytime with no real agenda
walks, cuddles, teaching him things, having him stuck to my hip, dancing.
We move in 3 weeks and I think our new house will be a great fresh start and London will have more room to move and explore. Work has been bumming me out lately but I am hoping things will get better. For now I am going to be grateful for what I do have and enjoy every second I get with my precious little baby boy.

10 Months...Here's What's Up With London

London turned 10 months on August 5th and I am really loving this age! He is so full of curiosity, he's so silly and learning and communicating in new ways every day. I weighed him on a scale at the grocery store the other day (only use I have for the meat aisle) and he is holding strong at 21 pounds.
London is waving on demand all the time. He double waves and always waves at daddy when he goes to work. But sadly he also cries when daddy has to leave :-( He is repeating some sounds, dancing, laughing, and starting to sign for "all done" when he's done eating. Eating has actually been an issue and food hasn't really been interesting him lately. He'd much rather explore the floor and play with toys. I am so happy that London is so curious to learn but he is also a cuddler which is an added bonus. He has been napping and going to sleep with no drama which has been awesome. He is still waking up every night between 4-5 am and wanting a bottle and then goes back to sleep. This is not ideal but I am not going to stress about it because he's not eating much during the day (trust me~I try!) and may just need to eat. I am ok with it but I think when I start back to work it's going to get a bit tiresome. Hopefully, he'll start sleeping straight to 8am soon.
I am really starting to get bummed out about going back to work and leaving London. We have such a good time together cuddling, playing, eating, etc. He will be with his grandma which is great but he doesn't sleep well for her and then when I get home he's usually too cranky to enjoy. I am going to miss our time together but so grateful I get this time each summer and I will just have to make a point to make sure our time together is quality!
We are moving into a new house mid-September and we're very excited. We are still renting which we are totally fine with, especially since we am not 100% sure I want to to be in NC much longer. The place is a single family home, huge open concept, 1900 sq ft, a decent courtyard patio area and way more closet space, bedroom space, we are so excited for London to explore his new surroundings and for the dogs to have a place to hang out outside. Hopefully someone takes over our current place so we can move.
We are also in the process of planning London's first birthday party. I am thinking maybe outside at a park or at our new place (if we're in by then) My parents and a few sibs are coming so we're excited about that. It's crazy to think London will be a year in just 2 months! Where has the time gone?! What an amazing year it has been with my gorgeous little miracle.