Last day as stay-at-home mommy...:-(...for now

Today is our last official weekday home together before I go back to work :-( After carrying him for 9 months and being with him every day for 3 months I am going to feel like an appendage is missing. The hardest part will be what I will miss. I will miss the morning smiles (although I hope to get a few in before I leave for work) I'll miss watching fresh prince in the morning, I'll miss our morning nap on the boppy. I'll miss being able to hold him and kiss him anytime I want. I think the drive to work and the thought of him crying and wanting his mommy will upset me the most.
I know going back to work is good for me and I do love my job (for the most part) but I feel so sad having to leave him behind. I don't want him to wonder and worry where I am or think I have abandoned him. I am so lucky to be able to be home by 2:45 and we can pick up where we normally would. I do need to get back to being busy as I've become kind of a lug being at home all day. I am also excited for daddy to take on a lot of the responsibility of London. It will feel nice to not have to do everything for him (although I enjoy most of it)I am trying to stay positive and keep telling London about how much fun he will have with grandma and daddy during the week days and how on Tuesdays he'll get to play with other kids for a few hours. I am truly lucky to have the childcare schedule I do. I just wish I was going to be the one here with him like he's used to. I am excited to be home with him this summer! I will look forward to that every day and my drive home from work will be so exciting knowing that little chunky monkey is waiting for me with a smile. For now I am going to get all the hugs, kisses, and cuddles in that I can.

12 weeks and here's what's up with London

London is just a few days away from being 3 months old! I cannot believe how fast my maternity leave has flown by. I return to work on Monday. I don't even like to think about it. It's not that I don't like my job, I am just so used to it just being the two of us that it kills me to know that we will be separated :-( It's especially difficult too because he is so attached to me and gets super upset when other people hold him. Luckily, he'll get to stay home on M,W,Th, and Fridays. On M and W grandma Gaffney will watch him, on Thursday and Friday daddy will be home and on Tuesdays he will go to a babysitter for about 3 1/2 hours. We have a great schedule worked out but I just wish I could stay home with him! I fear that he'll be looking for me and think I've abandoned him. But, I will be home by 2:45 and in about 5 months I will have the summer off with him :-) Being a teacher is a great job for a mommy.
London is changing a lot. He poops way less and is constipated most of the time. This means stinky farts all the time...it's pretty funny. I always open a diaper full of farts and some people even hand him back to me because he's choking them out...haha. He now loves to be naked. When I get him dressed for the day he gets so excited..however, at night he still gets extremely pissed when I change him in the middle of the night before feeding him. His sleeping pattern has been pretty messed up since we went to PA. He still goes to bed at 8pm but has now started waking up every 3 hours. Not good since I am about to go back to work. Daddy will be in for a shocker when we start sharing the nighttime changes and feedings ;-) We have been playing more with London and reading books. He "talks" to us and his favorite word is "aboooo" He also focuses on faces, books and toys much more. I just can't get enough of this baby....LOVE HIM! Gotta go squeeeeeze him!

Baby's 1st Christmas

London celebrated his first Christmas this year in North East, PA with the Chesleys. We were dreading the 9 hour drive but London did amazing. We left at 5pm on December 23rd and London slept the entire drive waking occasionally for a quick bottle from Aunt Risa who sat with him in the back seat. When we got to my parents house it was 3am and London thought it was morning. My mom jumped out of bed when she heard us and had London in her arms the second we walked inside. My mom played with him a bit while we unpacked all our stuff and got settled. We finally fell asleep around 4am and London was up every couple hours and then about 7am for the day. I was exhausted but we took a nap later that day to make up for missed sleep.
London was very moody on Christmas eve and barely let his cousins Becky and Jill hold him:-( He only wanted mama and daddy and was cranky with nana and papa and uncle Josh. I felt bad but I wasn't surprised. I knew it would take him a while to warm up to the chaos. Christmas eve we took London to church for the first time. We had a little suit and tie (with a pocket square) for him to wear but after a day of fussing and a trial run with the outfit we opted to just put him in a onesie and his snowsuit. He only lasted about 5 minutes in church and we spent the entire mass in the basement. It was just too risky because he was on the verge of a meltdown the entire time. He'd go from smiling and laughing to screaming in a matter of seconds. Kary and I entertained him in the basement and still managed to hear what was going on.
Christmas morning there was a lot of snow. Kary, me, Risa, Josh, Andrea, and my dad all went for a hike in the woods. I grabbed a beer and nana and anut Sarah babysat. I got a little buzzed on the hike and had a really good time. We trudged over a creek, saw amazing icicles and I even made a snow angel. When we returned London had woken from his nap and was very upset. Nana had a binky in his mouth and rocked him. He barely napped at all on Christmas. Around 3pm the Filos arrived and London seems way better adjusted when his cousins Isla and Mason arrived. Mason was so excited to meet him and wanted him to come play. He was kind of bummed that he couldn't walk yet..haha. They were so cute together. They watched toy story 3 on the couch, played with cars on the kitchen floor and Mason made London smile just by talking to him. Isla was giving him kisses and got a little jealous when Aunt Jess held him. London got lots of awesome educational toys, books, and great clothes from nana and papa. He warmed up on Christmas and even let a few family members cuddle him without crying.
The day after Christmas my friend Julie and her husband Jon and his daughter Kaitlyn came to meet London. He was once again attached to me and ended up just napping through their visit. Kary was also sick that day so London was pretty much attached to mama's hip. We went to a family party and the noise and amount of people put London into meltdown mode and I had to take him to the back room and nana and I rocked him until he calmed down. We left the next morning and London once again slept the entire drive, which was not good since we left at 11am. I was up every hour that night with him, wide awake.
London had a great first Christmas. Even though he won't remember he was so well loved. He got so many hugs, cuddles and kisses from people he won't see that often :-( It really makes me sad that they all live so far away. It is so fun and crazy when we all get together. Merry Christmas my sweet little baby.

Hold Me Mommy...

London and I have been together every day, every minute for 76 days, 1,824 hours, over 900 feedings, 600 diaper changes, millions of kisses and constant cuddling. This has bonded us so closely that I cry when I think about leaving him and even as I type this. He is my everything and I can't get enough of him! Unfortunately as our bond has been growing, London has become fearful of anyone other than mommy. It started about a week ago when London started screaming bloody murder if Kary even touched him. It was like a switch. He would be laughing and smiling at me and if Kary came near us he'd cry hysterically. If Kary picked him up he'd cry so hard he'd start gagging and had trouble breathing. Sure enough the second he handed him to me he'd bury his head in my chest, grab hold of my hair and stop crying instantly. As awesome as it felt to have someone adore you that much, I felt bad for Kary. We started researching online what could have caused this. I tried to explain to him that for the past month or so it has been just us. London and I all day long. Kary works long hours and some nights London is already in bed. I knew it was mainly because I was the one who provided the closeness, the milk and was always to the rescue when he needed me.
Yesterday was a bit better. I had Kary feed him a few bottles and he managed to stay calm in daddy's lap while eating. Kary also took him when he was very sleepy and rocked him to sleep while reading him a few bedtime stories. I came in and out of the room whispering quietly every few minutes and then just left them alone. Successfully, he finally warmed up to daddy and drifted off to sleep. This morning he gave daddy a huge smile and Kary screamed, "That's what I'm talking about!" I'm sure when I go back to work London will be a little more open to other people, especially daddy. He will be home on Mondays and Wednesdays with grandma babysitting, he will go to a babysitter for about 3 hours on Tuesdays (same lady who watches my BF's son) and on Thursday and Friday he will be home with daddy! (Kary changed his schedule to be a stay-at-home dad 2 days a week :-) I know mommy will always be #1...hehe...and I should. I carried him for 9 months, keep him alive with milk that my body produces and sacrificed a lot and went through a lot to get him here! I deserve it but am willing to share him....sometimes ;-)

Christmastime and Random Updates

London is now 10 weeks old. We have already had to start packing away his newborn clothes and he is pretty much wearing 3-6 mos clothes now. There are a bunch of things he never even got a chance to wear. He has so many clothes it's like a race to get him to wear all of them. Maybe we'll need to just play dress-up some day and snap photos...haha.

Last Tuesday London went to see the ear, nose, throat specialist to see if he is tongue-tied. The doctor was awesome and super good with London. He told us London was a 6 on a scale from 1-10 on severity. He explained that we could leave his tongue the way it is or he could snip it underneath. If we leave it he could have speech problems in the future and if he got the procedure later he'd have to be put under and it would be more complicated. We didn't want that so we decided to have it done right then and there. It was super quick. They took him next door (we could hear him crying) :-( and snipped it quick and brought him right back to me and he stopped crying. That day he was pretty fussy and I gave him some tylenol and he slept most of the day. It was so funny to see him stick out his tongue and blow spit bubbles. He has so much more movement with it now so we are glad we did it. I was tongue-tied as a baby so just one of my many lovely genes I have passed on to my son.

We sent out our first family Christmas card this year. We only ordered a few and sent them out to just immediate family. I was not sure how they'd turn out and didn't want to order a ton. They turned out adorable! I used the Santa photo and the one of him in the elf hat smiling and one in his little bear snowsuit. Everyone who got one said he made them smile when they saw it. He is a little cutie pie and makes me smile everyday. We have been able to do so much more together lately. He can pay attention to books for about 5 minutes now and actually looks at the pictures and sometimes smiles and laughs. He really likes this Winnie the Pooh piano his grandma got him that plays Christmas music. He also loves his new monster book from his great Aunt Anne (in the picture) He loves the pictures of the monsters and was making little cooing noises as he looked at the funny pictures.

London, daddy and I have had a few trips out Christmas shopping. London has been to the mall about 3 times now. It's a crazy mall and he has done really well. He mostly sleeps but will occasionally wake up and look around all bug-eyed. We get lots of compliments on how cute he is and people are a lot nicer to us with a baby ;-) Plus Kary said it's easy to zoom around in the mall because people part the way for a baby...haha. But, it does work.

We will be spending Christmas in PA this year with my family. It will be London's first long road trip and his first time to see where mommy grew up. Luckily, my sister Marisa will be riding with us and can help with London. We have to wait until Kary is out of work to leave so we are braving it and leaving at 5pm on Thursday evening. I am sure the trip will be pure hell...unless he sleeps the whole time ;-) I sure hope so. This will be his first time meeting his cousins Mason and Isla and still has yet to meet Jess, Jason, Josh and Sarah. I can't wait to see them with him. He has changed a lot since my parents and sister Goob have seen him too. I hope he's in a good mood most of the time. I'll be sure to take lots of pictures since unfortunately I don't get to see my family very often. We cherish every minute we get together and I am so lucky to every single one of them in my life.

Christmas with the Gaffneys

We celebrated Christmas early with the Gaffneys this year since Kary's dad works in Texas and won't be back until January and we'll be in PA Christmas weekend. As always we were incredibly spoiled and this year and London was too :-) He got awesome toys, clothes, and books. Some of the toys he's not quite ready for so Kary and I have been playing with them. Kary and I got a kodak video camera...we're super pumped to be able to capture London as he grows at an incredible speed. We also got a bunch of clothes and other cool stuff. We had veggie lasagna and London got to meet Santa. Kary's dad has an awesome Santa coat, hat, and beard. London got all bug-eyed when he first saw Santa but quickly just fell asleep on his lap...haha. He spent a lot of time sleeping actually. He went from grandpa's lap to grandma's. When he was awake he loved to look at the christmas lights and he liked the bells on the door. He is such a cutie and I think he really enjoyed his first Christmas experience. It will be tricky as he gets older on where/when and how we'll spend Christmas. I am excited about all the new traditions we can start as a little family.

Mommy No Shots!

London had his 2 month appointment with the pediatrician today. He weighs 13lbs 6oz and is now 24 inches (2 feet!) long. He is a very healthy boy. The doctor said he may be "tongue-tied". I was as a baby but they took care of it in the hospital. So, we are going to the eye, ear, nose, throat specialist to get it looked at to see if he'll have a snake tongue like mommy and his aunts. London had to get 3 shots today and take a liquid vaccine. I was dreading it. Before the doctor came in he was giggling and smiling at the zebra painting in the safari room. Minutes after she came in and started examining him he realized it was time to eat and began screaming. He even tried to suck on the wooden stick she used to look in his mouth. It was hard to communicate over his screaming but she said he is doing great. :-) I tried to calm him down while waiting for the nurse to come in and give the shots. I had London (in just his diaper) sitting on my lap as I read through the information on the shots. I was making him fist pump and chant, "no shots! no shots!" When the nurse came in he was already screaming. I held his hand as he got his shots and the crying turned into a high-pitched yell and I knew he was hurting. I held in my tears but wanted to cry so bad! :-( He got a few snoopy bandaids because he's a bleeder and we finally got to go home. I had to stop at 2 different stores to find baby tylenol only to come home and find that we already had some in our medicine cabinet-blarg! So far London is dealing with the shots fine and has been sleeping 7 hours straight the past few nights! I don't want to jinx it but I am loving how good he has been sleeping.
London and I are BFF's. Today I gave him a kiss on the mouth and he stuck his tongue in my mouth...haha! He's such a silly little boy and I love how much he loves me. I can make him smile and giggle with just a silly noise and it melts my heart. He's my favorite and the cutest baby on the planet! I can't wait to introduce him to his Uncle Josh, Aunt Sarah, Aunt Jess, Uncle Jason, and cousins Mason and Isla in a few weeks!

Busy Boy!

London has been very busy the past few days. He made his debut at Statesville Road Elementary on Friday and was quite the attraction. He was oohed and aahed at in the office by the secretaries as he slept in his stroller. But, they wanted to see his eyes so stupid mama messed with him until he woke up and then he started wailing! But, he waited until we were in the hallway as class was going on. The 1st graders were popping out into the hallway inquiring as to why there was a crying baby coming down the hall. I joked that London was being bad and needed an office referral. We made it down to my classroom and as I turned the doorknob and walked in my kids looked at me as if they had seen a ghost. They attacked me with a group hug and were super surprised. London cried at first and I had to give him a bottle real quick. The kids showed me a few things they had learned and were asking when I was coming back. They started handing me letters and cards they had made. There were large printouts of London pictures that I had emailed them taped to the board. So cute! A few teachers popped in the room to see London and as I turned to talk to one of them the kids all went crazy touching London. I turned back to see dirty little hands all over his face and hands. One kid was holding his hand...which was adorable! I hated telling them to unhand him but I didn't want him to catch a cold. London's eyes were huge and he was looking at the kids and bobbling his head in amazement of all the attention. As we said goodbye and made our way down the hall we were stopped by numerous more teachers.
We went home for a bit and then back to school for a baby shower. He was pretty calm and slept most of the time until it was time to eat and then we had to take off. It was so great to see all my teacher friends and check in on what's going on in my classroom. Being so controlling I could only stay in there a moment.
Saturday was Dexter's first birthday party! I can't believe how big he has gotten and how quickly he has grown. It was London's first time around a bunch of other kids but he didn't seem to notice them. He did pretty well among the chaos and only got freaked out for a bit but calmed down when I took him up to Dexter's room for a bit and rocked him. He even got a goody bag :-) The party was awesome and the cupcakes were delicious! Dexter liked his drum kit we got him. I unfortunately didn't get any pictures because I was too busy with London :-( Maybe I'll steal some from Lynn's blog.


and now what's new with London...
London LOVES his playmat gym. He stares at himself and giggles and coos like crazy! It is adorable! He also loves his mobile above his bed. I call them his friends and he smiles and giggles at them every morning. He can lay on his mat or in his bed for as long as we'll let him and stare and smile.
He is becoming very attached to me. I am starting to notice that he gets nervous when I am not in sight. It makes me feel great but will make it that much harder for me to leave him. I don't want him to be anxious with me not around :-( That's the worst part. I am going to enjoy the last month we have together. But luckily I get home early enough that we'll still get to spend a lot of time together when I'm back to work.
London is an unpredictable little dude. I am getting way better at figuring out all his little crazy quarks. He makes me so incredibly happy I can't even handle it! He turned 2 months today and I can't even imagine what life was like before him. He has his 2 month appointment Tuesday and we'll find out how much the little fatty weighs now. ;-)

born on a Tuesday

8 weeks ago yesterday (I intended to write this yesterday) London came into our lives and rocked our world. Not only was him being a boy a shocker but I did not realize how much our lives would change with a baby. Being pregnant gave me a sense of giving up my body and changing my lifestyle but having him on the outside adds so much more. I sometimes feel like my body belongs to London. I have to be careful of what I eat and drink. If I have coffee or something spicy (love wasabi peas from trader joes) London will go nuts so I have to keep them out of my diet. I have to be able to whip out a boob at any given time. I am in no way complaining because the love I feel for this little boy is unbelievable overwhelming and I am so blessed he is in my life. However, it has taken our little family some time to adjust. I feel like I am constantly ignoring Kary and Brooklyn and Brixton. I feel like every time I see Kary I am placing demands on what he needs to do for the house, dogs, or baby. We used to have time at night to talk and watch tv and eat nachos and now we are lucky to get one tv show in a week. We have to plan everything based on London's needs. When he cries hysterically we both get stressed out and it's hard to communicate in a non-stressful way. Kary is still new at this dad thing and I know he's frustrated when he works all day and rushes home to see London and is greeted by a cranky baby. Because London is with me all day he is very attached and often prefers the comfort of mommy and I know that makes Kary feel bad. But, we are keeping communication open and working through this "hell phase" as my sister Jess calls it. ;-)
I have many awesome moments these days with my sweet baby boy and each day the "hell phase" fades away. London is awake a lot more and plays hard. He kicks his playmat and grabs the hanging toys and puts them in his mouth. He tries to laugh now at his little lion rattle. It laughs and lights up and he tries so hard to imitate it. It's super cute. London and I like to cuddle and when he buries his head in my shoulder and puts his arms on my shoulders, it's bliss. He has been sleeping between 4-6 hours at a time at night which is wonderful. When I get 6 hours I feel like I've been sleeping for days and always wake myself up and sneak into his room after about 5 hours to make sure he is ok. He is addicted to this video Kary found online. It's made for babies and plays mozart and has shapes floating around. He sits like a little zombie and stares at it so intensely. London is growing so fast. I won't know his weight until next Tuesday at his 2 month appointment but I bet it's near 15lbs or more. He is quite a load to carry these days. Speaking of weight, I have lost about 4lbs in the past week or so. It's a slow progress but moving along. It is so frustrating not being able to fit in my clothes. I refuse to buy larger sizes because I know I'll eventually get back to my pre-preggo weight and won't want those larger sizes. It's mainly my belly and face that I see the extra weight and my boobs are HUGE which actually makes me look heavier. Kary and I bought the wii game "Just Dance 2" and that has been a ridiculously fun way to sweat and burn calories and a fun way for Kary and I to spent time together and reconnect to Kary and Sara vs. just mommy and daddy. I am already dreading leaving London when I return to work. But, I could never be a stay at home mom. I'd go crazy. I just don't want to miss anything. He changes so much each day. I don't want to miss a thing...and he's awake, so bye blog.

I'm Thankful for London!

It's crazy to think that a year ago Kary and I were only hoping that someday we may have a baby and this year he is already here. :-) Holidays just seems that much more special now that London is here to see it all for the first time. I have spent the past few years with the Gaffneys for Thanksgiving. This year we had a full house: Vicki (grandma), Michael (grandpa),Grandma Gaffney (great-grandma), Grandma Morrison (great-grandma), Kary's brother (Uncle Pat), and Kary's cousin Jessica and her boyfriend Jon. We had a great time catching up and London loved being held by so many family members. Grandma Gaffney sang him a few old songs she used to sing to Kary when he was little. It was so cute. Grandma Morrison was so proud to hold her great-grandson. London enjoyed cuddling up to Grandpa Gaffney and seeing the Christmas lights on the tree for the first time with Grandma Gaffney. He was pretty well behaved but did have a few moments of crankiness...a quick nap or eating fixed that. Although he was too young to know what's going on, I think he had a good time. Next year he'll be eating tofurky! :-)